Introduction

A major part of having good communication skills is having good social intelligence. Social intelligence refers to your ability to effectively navigate and negotiate complex social relationships and environments. We really cannot teach social intelligence because you acquire it as part of your socialization process and is culture dependent. What is acceptable to say in one city, state, or social context may be completely unacceptable in another. Each social interaction is unique and influenced by multiple factors. A slight change in one of these factors can alter how you are suppose to say or do something and how it is received by others.

A lack of social intelligence can lead to miss communication, social isolation, and rejection by peers. One of the biggest turn-offs people have is people who break social norms. But social norms are vague and change over time. There is no document that says this is what you are supposed to do and this is what you are not supposed to do in every setting. Take for example, dating. Should the partner (man or woman) take their date flowers on the first date? What color should the flowers be? How many flowers should he/she take? Should they go up to the door and knock? The response to each of these questions is context specific and your ability to respond appropriately is dependent upon your social intelligence.

When you hear people say “He/she is weird”, what they are often referring to is a person’s lack of conformity to social norms which is a result of their lack of social intelligence that is being manifested through their inability to effectively communicate.  Those who are the subject of social rejection often don’t understand why people don’t like them. They can’t understand why they have such a hard time getting along with others. Some blame themselves and others blame the world. In some cases they may reject the world and become violent as a means to get back at people.  Studies suggest that up to 70% of your success in life is dependent on your social intelligence – not your level of education or how smart you are. 

I once had a supervisor who was a lawyer and had a Masters from a major university. In every setting she was the smartest person in the room. But it was difficult for her to find a job. When she did get a job, it was difficult for her to keep the job. People hated working with her. She lacked the social intelligence the know how to speak and get along with people. 

What are your thoughts on this?

Rubric

You will earn 2.5 points for responding to all the questions above and 2.5 points for responding to another student’s responses to the questions.

I have to agree that being skilled in interpersonal communication is a valuable tool for careers of individuals. I agree on the part that “each social interaction is unique and influenced by multiple factors, as for many